Floating Stones - Sinking Dreams...

"I am tired of explaining my life to every little ant that passes by..."

That's a line I cracked the other day -- and I fell in love with it... I know, I know, it's a bit self-obsessive -- much like framing your own pictures... But, it says what I wanted to say, I guess.

Lately I've been reminiscing this Looney Toons (Tunes?) episode -- except for, this time, it seems to have a whole other meaning. It's the one where there is a stampede. Bugs Bunny comes out of his little burrow, and notices all the animals running past him. He tries to inquire, but before he can even start a sentence, the animal is gone...

He stands in the heart of the rush, unaware of where everyone is headed. As all the animals disappear, he stands alone, wondering what's going on. He eventually catches up to a Turtle, who is trying to keep up with the crowd, of course, and learns what's going on...

"Technology is moving too fast, and I am still a Turtle..." Sufi said that once, as she tried to operate a cash register...

I've been feeling like the Bugs Bunny from that episode though. Standing in the middle of a speeding crowd... And, if I do eventually decide to move with them (which, I am on the edge of doing), I'll end up like that Turtle...

No, this is not a post about resistance to change. It's a post about becoming what everyone else has become... And yet, you'll never 'really' fit-in... (Osho's Zen Tarot comes to mind).

We all dream -- pure dreams. And then, down the line, we have to modify them to fit everything else around us. From imaginative colours to techni-colour, to east-man prints... Somehow, the quality of the dream always seems to fade and dry-out as we 'mature'.

With everything 'important' on my head, I decided to go to the beach today. My headphones, the sun setting, and the invisible walls of silence around me -- I appreciate that. It's not an exercise where I am trying to think things through... I am just trying to be.

Not too far from where I sat, I noticed a boy throwing stones in the sea. I could see where the pleasure was hidden. Many people had passed the exact same spot as him, but they were too busy trying to collect something precious. They were picking up each shell and stone and judging it. The colour, the shape, the curve... They'd keep the best ones in their pocket, and leave...

And here was this boy. He just picked whatever his hand reached, and flinged it carelessly in the air. He later started creating structures with the wet sand. Once the master-piece was complete, he'd pick it up and throw that too...

I've titled the picture "floating stones - sinking dreams" after much thought (and a bit of a push from Asha). The sketch beside it is titled "Dreams Fade" based on a song by "The Thrills"

Now, like a flame, dancing in the wind, just before it's about to die out... I end this here.

"The only wedding you really need to attend is your own."
- Sushil Kumar

A Little Confused about Everything...

I was hoping this would be my next post.

I've been working on Mocha -- which I hope will be the next short.
Constantly lost, I try to build-on the script -- or, rather, see how it builds-up.
So, I've been a bit extra dreamy lately -- I apologize if any of you bumped into me and I didn't seem to care about your existence... I wasn't being rude, I've just had too many links in my own head...

Everything's coming in twos though... I am confused about two tracks for the intro, I've been confused about which one should be the primary poster, and I think, I am a little confused about everything else...

Confusion is the essence of our lives though. We are constantly trying to avoid it, and yet, it always surrounds us.
Confused about work - should I shoot my Boss today or tomorrow?
Confused about love - can I really spend the rest of my life with someone so stupid?
Confused about people - what did he mean when he said 'I don't like you!'?
Confused about ourselves - how can someone not like me?
Confused about movie rentals - should I watch Snatch again?
And confused about brewed beverages - roasting beans, picking leaves, green, black, milk, sugar, white, brown, raw, right temperature... ("the heat, my god, the heat!")

We're stuck in a better world we've created. Our choices have become our problems. Our "television with 500 channels", globalization, Italian food, Mexican food, Salsa, Seltzer ("I ordered seltzer, not salsa"), air fare, second homes, comparatively expensive, comparatively cheaper, 2 products - 9 brands...

I remember when all we got on TV was that late night Thursday movie on Ch33. People who had Doordarshan were considered 'special'!

Back when What's On had just launched their first 7 page magazine.

Back when it was called the "Oprah Winfrey Show" - and she was only speaking to the American audience. Daactor Phil was still in college, probably.

The time when antiseptic meant Dettol -- and just one kind of Dettol, you didn't have the pink bottle, the green bottle, and the regular!

Back when we had two kinds of coffee and two kinds of tea.

Back when, the internet wasn't around -- so, this blog wouldn't exist.

I sometimes wonder, was the world simpler 15 years ago, or, could it be that my world was simpler 15 years ago...?

Stupid consumerism...

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up."
- Pablo Picasso

Dancing Flame...

When I was in kindergarten, they made us do a little show on “what we would want to be when we’d grow up.” Even though, words like career and occupation were beyond us at the time – we still had a show based on our future...

That’s all there is for a 4 year old, isn’t it? The future… No one cares about their past, because, who would think the 4 year old has a magical real-life experience to share… And, no one is too inquisitive about their present either. It’s kid stuff - chasing butterflies, counting crows, linking stars, or imagining friends...

The future... Now, that’s more realistic.

I think my teacher was aware that none of us would really be sure of what we would’ve wanted to do 18 years from then – so, she picked the professions for us.

Someone got to be a policeman, a fireman, a doctor...
I got to be a baker. Not a chef... A baker!
Chef was too big a term for us back then...

I had my little baker hat, borrowed Mom’s apron, and purchased a pot and wooden spoon for the show. I walked on stage with two other guys, and we started singing, stirring our spoon in a synchronized fashion - “I wish I be a baker, a baker, a baker – I wish I be a baker, a baker I shall be!”

None of us, of course, got to say we wanted to be DJs, Event coordinators, Copy-writers, or Film-makers... Most of them weren’t considered to be real jobs back then. And, if they were, you hardly ever saw people considering it as a full-time career-path. It was that whole demand-supply nonsense, I guess.

Everyone is cut out for something in life, though. All that special purpose and divine calling crap that we hear about everyday, might just be true.

“So, Hitler, what made you become a vicious Dictator, wanting to terrorize the world in order to achieve existential harmony?”
“Itz wasz zee khallingz! Niche Zufsi Abidsonaz”

Germans tend to use a lot of Z’s don’t they? It’s like a group of people who are constantly sleepy... The lack of it probably gets them mad – which is what led to the war in the first place...

Think about it – all these presidents and politicians are in different time-zones. 21:00 hrs for the Americans is almost 4:00am for Hitler. You get that phone call, with all that heavy politician’s talk at 4:00am – don’t you think you’d get a bit edgy?

An interesting thing I heard from Cosmo Kramer about DaVinci was that he only slept 20 minutes every 3 hours... I do realize, through various experiments of my own, that the short-burst sleeps get you that dazed sense – which can lead to something creative... The only problem is, what you may appreciate in your dazed sense, may mean nothing to you when you are fresh and awake.

I remember that line from Goodnight Elizabeth – Adam Duritz whispers, “I hope that everybody finds a little flame...”

It almost saddens me at times to see people around me without that little flame. It gets even worse when I try and apply it to myself.

It is really difficult to realize, and, when we do realize it, we may have no means of getting to it. Then, we all just live our regular lives, with an extra shot of misery, until we finally depart.
It’s just a short departure though.
With the purpose of our lives unfulfilled, we come back in no time, once again, for a re-fill...
A re-fill of misery.

It’s hard at this age. It’s even harder in this situation. However, just like everything else in life, this is only temporary...

I hope that everybody finds that little flame...
I hope that everybody finds their Gypsy Feet...

“Be a light unto yourself”
- Gautam Buddha

“Life is misery”
- also by Gautam Buddha