Saturday, September 14, 2013

Burning CDs...

I have a problem...

Over the years, as I have observed my own past and observed how one's around me view the world... and they can never change their perspective on how they would approach the task of living in this world. Nor can I change my perspective, although, I may change my action if it makes the one next to me smile...

Strange... I don't agree with your perspective, and yet, I see the pointlessness in life. Therefore, I realise that if I walk down the path you'd rather want to walk with me for a little while, it won't make a difference to me, but seems to make you happy. A sense of momentary contentment...

I realise that life is pointless, and having one more taste of that best pizza in the world, or one more scent of that amazing flower, or one more look at that most amazing creature under-water, will not make any difference. In fact, even getting to see something or smell something or taste something just only that one time ever in life won't make a difference either... Because, it seems that life is just in the sheer process of living in itself, not within the experiences of the places you need to be or things you need to see to 'live' life to the fullest.

But then there are days when I get a bit worried... Sometimes, that little voice creeps in and just nudges me around saying 'Where is your time? You only got this one life mate, got to do something...' And I worry about not ever having the time to do the things I have been thinking I will do tomorrow... even though, at the back of my head, I realise that doing those things would only be a sense of momentary contentment. And then, more often than not, when I sit back to think "what is it that I really want to do tomorrow?"... That little voice kind of looks away a bit embarrassed, as my mind seems to realise that nothing seems super significant... Nothing would ever lead to a permanent sense of contentment.

I tried to burn another music CD today, and failed again. I suppose there is something wrong with my laptop. What annoys me about this is that I rarely ever find the time to burn a music CD in my life. Nor have I found the time to upgrade my music system in my car, which still runs a 6 CD changer system -- so my only option is to burn the music I'd like to hear when driving to work and back.

I tried burning a CD, and when it came to naming it, I just thought I'd call it "September 2013". Nothing significant about this month, but over the last few CDs I burnt (and the last one was "July 2012" it seems), I have just named the CDs on the time of the year, hoping that I can roughly remember what songs I was listening to back then. You see, there was a time in my life where burning CDs was quite a creative process. I'd come up with a special title, give it a special name, have this check-list like "must have at least one counting crows track". It started with this CD called "Madman #1" which then went through to Madman #7 I think, after which I just started naming it around something I was obsessed about during that month or so. "Dali and the Madman"... "Mr. Jones and the Madman"... The Madman was consistent.

It's strange... I don't think I ever thought that burning a music CD would become a bit of a luxury over time, even though my bank account  today is far better maintained than when I was in college.

And so, I will be hearing the radio to work tomorrow morning...

No comments: